Why Don't We Talk Much About What It Feels Like At Midlife?

Around 50 years old, give or take a decade or so, it starts feeling emotionally cluttered

There’s lots of conversation about the plight of Gen Z and the millennial generation. As well as our old age population.

However—outside of sensationalizing and poking fun at the so-called midlife crisis—our society pretty much ignores what it feels like to be around 50 years old.

While we absolutely should focus on young and old people, what about the day-to-day experience of those of us in midlife?

We’re not necessarily in crisis, but we’re feeling a strange mix of persistent, day-to-day emotions as—in many cases—we bridge the gap between our younger children and older parents.

Am I alone?

Am I crazy?

Do I think too much?

Or is it really a psychological conundrum to simultaneously—

• Anticipate your parents passing away

• Watch your children navigate life as adults

• Reflect on how your parents brought you up and the impact that has had on your adult life

• Consider how your parenting did or did not impact your kids and what role you play as a parent in their adult lives

• Attempt to assimilate and learn from all of the above as to attain the best possible quality of life you can—for yourself—now and going forward amid the backdrop of knowing you’re not 20, 30 or even 40 anymore. So, you gotta go for it more than you’ve ever gone for it before. Time becomes even more precious meaning there’s much less of it reserved for inaction.

That’s a lot.

To be clear, this isn’t me complaining. There’s something intriguing about facing this challenge. What’s on my mind as much, if not more than the challenge itself is why isn’t this a prevailing discussion?

I have some poorly developed theories. But I wonder how you see it.

All of this said, the emotional balancing act I describe is part of what drives me. Without this type of stuff occupying my mind, the path to good, near- and long-term decision making probably would not be quite as clear.

This pending move to Spain is all about taking the experiences I have accumulated over the years and translating them into a type of wisdom that allows me to see the writing on the wall. I have a good sense where the segment of America I run in is headed. I see my Mom’s, my Dad’s, my Daughter’s, me and Melisse’s place in it and use the subsequent straightforward facts and educated projections to craft a future that looks as if it will make for the best life possible given the resources we have at our disposal.

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Valencia, Spain!