Guest Post: Takeaways From Life In LA, Two Years In

A bit torn, but leaning all the way into simpler and less expensive

A few months ago, I noticed

Lesli J Krishnaiah

’s Substack

Experimenting Away in LA

.

Lesli writes from the perspective of having moved here with her family a couple of years ago.

So, I was intrigued.

Because Los Angeles, more than any other city, is tough to make sense of when you first arrive. But—if you wind up staying long enough—you ultimately waver between tolerating and really liking, if not loving it.

To get there, you need to ignore, rationalize and desensitize yourself to more than a few things, which is no way to live. Exactly where you settle also makes a huge difference. Lesli’s experience of Los Angeles near Pasadena is different than mine, in the center of LA proper. If you can even say LA has a center. There’s really no there here.

Anyhow, Lesli does a nice job getting at the front end of this process.

But it sounds as if she’ll do what a lot of people do. Leave before getting to the toleration, rationalization and desensitization stage.

I don’t blame her.

Los Angeles—for as many different types of environments you’ll find here for living—is no place to Never Retire and Live The Semi-Retired Life.

---

Thrilled to be writing this guest post for Rocco as his newsletter, and topics discussed, resonate with me greatly.

I wanted to write this post from the perspective of someone who is new to Los Angeles, having plunked myself, my husband, our two dogs and two kids here two years ago, moving from Boulder Colorado for a "dream job" opportunity.

Let's just say it turned out less than dreamy, but more on that later.

But for now, these are the LA things that have really struck me thus far—

• Life is a bit too complicated here.

• You better already have a community upon landing here because if not you it will take a good little while to build one.

• When we moved here and not fewer than five people my first week said to me “wait, you are moving INTO California? Most people are going the other way!” I didn’t get it at first and well, now I do.

Now, to be fair, LA is ripe with options for fun. And I plan to soak up all of it while we are here.

We were at the LA Times Festival of Books just last weekend and it was phenomenal. Just a Scooby snack really of the multitude of entertainment options that await. But to quote the Nancy Myers’ movie title, It’s Complicated.

You are usually driving, and dare I say driving mind numbingly far in many cases, to experience all there is to experience here. Let’s take the example of when we first moved here and a dear friend was coming into LA for work and staying at a lovely hotel downtown with a rooftop bar. Foodie people were raving about it all over town (ok, all over the platform EATER). Well, it took me three freeways to get to said hotel/restaurant and, as I was still getting used to the warp speed at which the cars fly down the freeway here, I was a nervous wreck upon sitting down for the dreamy dinner.

I would have liked nothing better than a glass of wine at that moment, but that was in no way in my future as it would take every bit of zen I had in me to take a deep breath and make it back over those freeways to my house, completely sober without imbibing the dreamed about glass of vino. The fabulous food and incredible views would not be available in every city that is for sure, but I couldn’t truly enjoy the whole experience. Just let me walk down my block and have the wine and more wine if I choose and walk back up the block to home please.

Wait, I am pretty sure you can do that in say, Spain?

Also, I will say all day long that what builds a life really worth living is indeed living by people that have your back, that will throw a stick of butter over your fence when you run out, who will help you jump your car when it dies and will invite you over for dinner afterwards.

I live in a beautiful neighborhood right outside of Pasadena, but it seems like instead of porches people like garages here—like 3 of them—and upon arriving home people zoom right into them like mice into their holes, never to be seen again.

I asked someone to help me move a couch here, and the responses were all along the lines of “go rent a truck.” Okay, I will but maybe if someone had a truck they could, I don’t know, help me? You know, to save some money perhaps?

And I will also say that this lack of community and the “I’m in it for me” vibe goes along with how expensive it is to live here. Due to the fact that people are getting together rarely, if at all, with those in their community, they are usually going out to dinner instead for entertainment.

Not too many impromptu dinner parties.

And dinner here ain’t cheap. I would propose that even heading to the very mediocre Mexican restaurant down the street runs $100 for four of us. For that you could go to Vallarta (the most amazing Mexican grocery in town) and get enough for a killer dinner party for four with some bucks left over for margaritas.

Between 2022 and 2023, 144,472 people left California compared to just five years earlier (2017-2018) where the number was 43,587, having almost tripled. And why?

To focus on the hard facts, the educational system here is lacking. And thus there are a lot of private schools. As a matter of fact, Pasadena has the largest number of private schools per square mile than any other city in the country. Of course you don’t have to send your kids to private school, but based on our research they will get a better education in most cases. And that is sad given that, when you are paying the kind of taxes you are in Southern California, public education is simply not as good as it should be.

And gas. $5/gallon is a lot as it is. But let’s face it people drive a lot here and you are likely going to be buying a lot of gas to go on above-stated adventures whether you like it or not. Unless you go electric, which is a great plan, but you need to be able to afford the electric car in order to save money which also isn’t easy. And we pay for water, how wacky is that? It is really good water, but shouldn’t that be, what’s the word….on the tip of my tongue….oh, FREE?? Yes, water should be free.

LA has charmed me with the dumplings. And the bagels (Courage Bagels, I am talking to you!). And the sheer beauty of my surroundings. But it has a high price tag that I’m just not willing to pay long term.

It’s really hard to organize your money and your work around your life here as Rocco mentions in a previous post, and that is something I find myself wanting to do more and more. I did it the opposite way for years and it definitely isn’t a recipe for a happy life.

Simplicity and ease is really important to me and that is something LA doesn’t really offer. I guess when we eventually leave I will just have to have my dumplings shipped to me. And my bagels. And, well, all the things.